there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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