Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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