oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
She announced her abortion via fbk
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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