so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize