Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
