You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Having a random hookup so left but love u
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
