OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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