woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
