it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
