is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
