Someone shit on the floor
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
