PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
