y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
