Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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