i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
