he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
