how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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