YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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