all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
