Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
