...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
