even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize