dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
