If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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