Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
