Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
it was like his penis was on wheels.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
