What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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