Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
