You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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