Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
