you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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