She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
