I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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