I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Jerry, you need to find god
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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