thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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