they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
