he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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