'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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