I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
