No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wish I only lived at night.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
