I hope mine doesn't look like that
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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