You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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