just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
