What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize