i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
