he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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