he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
