I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Randomize
