that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize