My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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