So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
