i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
