I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
