I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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