We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
All I want is dick and wine.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
