SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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