ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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