Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
