too bad you live with your parents still
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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