WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
