just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How does it feel to date your dad?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
