I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Who died my cat blue again?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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