If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
