i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
