Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
