Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i think i have two assholes
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
