My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
