Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You are a genius and a whore.
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