I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
bring money and cleavage
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
