I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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