I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
