I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
