I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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