so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
