her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
