I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
